Best Man

      Ever heard of a man called Best Man? Fictions and cartoon serials have introduced to us characters like Batman, Spider man, Superman etc. We have heard about gentleman, Cart man, Load man and many others like that. But not the superlative of good man. Dictionary meaning for best man is Bridegroom's supporter [ Mappilai Thozhan ]. In Tamilnadu, lot of parents [ bride's ] fear this gentleman as he pretends himself as the original mouthpiece of the groom. The bride's relatives often take pain to entertain this man and utmost care is given to see that this best man is treated in a grand manner so that he may not turn a worst man.

The practice of sending a best man with the bridegroom started from early days. In olden days the marriages will be held at the bride's residence and the bridegroom may have to stay  there for two or three days before he could return to his home with his bride. During that period  the groom has to be at the bride's residence, he will be like an outsider there, having no close contacts with anybody there and will feel lonely. To give him company, one of his friends will be nominated to stay with him during that period so that he will not feel isolated. The man thus deputed is known as Best man. The bride's relatives will pay more attention to him than the groom thinking that otherwise he will paint them shabby after returning back home. This is to a certain extent true also that there are cases of the  Best man complaining about poor treatment meted out to him. There were cases of the Best man making chaos in the bride's family to show that he deserved more attention than the groom.

I had got a couple of chances to be the Best man. But to my dismay, I didn't get any undue attention and no complaints were raised by me, knowing fully well that the bride's relatives did not ignore me totally. Once I was asked to accompany a groom who belonged to a poor family as no body except me was willing to take that part. The other fellows, who generally compete among themselves to don the role, in this case, refused to do so knowing very well that they will not get a royal treatment because of the bride's economic status. I had to spend one whole rainy night on the veranda of the house on that occasion shivering in the chillness and being attacked by mosquitoes.

Instances of Best man making problems in the bride's residence, specially in Tamil Nadu, were heard and the same have caused strains in the relationship between the bride's and the groom's families. For a simple cause a volcano is erupted. Can this be an act of a man called the Best Man?

The man deputed to be a Best Man should always posses the qualities of a good individual true to the name he is bestowed with.

Ethu Kaliyugam

It is only about ten in the morning. The Sun above kindled like a lit gas burner. Men could neither go out nor stay inside their houses. Every brick in the wall inside the house emitted heat. Times have changed. Even Mother Nature has failed to keep up her schedules. By this time of the year, we could have experienced occasional rains so as to keep the temperature a little above 35 degrees. But now it is something beyond 40. Fans inside the houses began murmuring as they are not allowed any rest. The Haves enjoyed much in the luxury of Air conditioners, where as the Have nots left everything to God to keep them in good fettle under the scorching Sun. Even animals have to bear the agony caused due to heat. But what on earth has brought all these changes in the climatic conditions? Scientists say that it is due to global warming. Some say it is due to a hole in the Ozone layer in the atmosphere. Whatever it may be, my grandpa has his own reasons for all this. The Eighty Five year old, still physically fit, remembers the olden days when they enjoyed every season according to the calendar. The Summer holidays from mid March to May with occasional Koda Mazha [Summer rains] bringing respite from the heat, the rainy season from June to August - when they had to wade through knee deep water to reach their schools which were Four to Five Kilometres from their homes. He clearly remembers those days when they reached their homes fully drenched in water, their books all soaked in water. They had to spread them on the floor to dry up so as to be carried to school the next day. In those days, there were no plastic or leather bags to protect their books from rain and no Rain coats for themselves.

Then comes the cold season from November to January. It will be chilling cold in the early morning hours that one would like to be in bed wrapped in woollen blankets till the sun got warmer.

 Within the last Fifty years everything has changed. Not only the climatic conditions but also the life style of the people. The Koottukudumbam [Joint Family] style of living gave way for nuclear families. Along with it went the binding relationships between the family members. Now a pitiable stage was reached where a son murders his father over property dispute and vice versa, bickerings among family members over sharing of family wealth. Some going to the cardinal sin of breaking harmonious relationships within family members. Men and women are attracted towards bogus pleasures. Changes are effected not only in dressing codes but also in their food habits.  In the name of  modern culture they began taking junk foods resulting in getting affected with fatal diseases. Seven out of Ten people have either Blood Pressure or Sugar complaints or both. Every now and then they use to run to the Doctor. Thus came Multi Speciality Hospitals where we are squeezed even for a simple head ache. In olden days elders in the house knew about Nature Cure called Paatty Vaithiyam. All those natural medicines were free from any side effects. But the story is pitiful now. One medicine for a particular ailment tend to cause another problem. Thus to cure our diseases one by one, we have to be at the hospital doors through out our life time.

Law and order problems is a major subject now a days. You cannot close your news paper without reading news about atleast a dozen murders, half a dozen sexual harassments on ladies and the least, unwanted attacks and counter attacks by various warring groups. Precious lives are lost in accidents on roads, rail, and waterways. Even learned men fall prey to these evil doings. Robberies and murders for gain have become the order of the day. Where are we going? Are we in the right path? Surely not. But we try to hide these under some excuses, that it is Kaliyugam now, prophecied by Lord Sri Krishna, wherein men will fight with men, there will be Dharmakshaya and Adharma will grow like a wild beast and swallow every thing.

My grandpa concluded- the kaliyuga foreseen by the Lord has at last arrived, bringing with it all the calamities in the world.

Results

So, this is how the calmness between the storms look like. After a couple of months of witnessing the non-stop  action, it is time for the people of Tamilnadu to get back to their regular life. Or is it? It is now results, they are bothered of. Though there are many who would be indifferent to these results, some see this as if their entire future were dependent on this. The below queries would be giving them sleepless nights. Who will fare well? Where will they stand when the overall results come out? Whether the state will see a person from the delta districts standing at the top or will it still be a person from the Chennai suburbs. Or would it be from somewhere unheard of? What would they talk to the press ?And more importantly, many would want to compare their performances with those of their acquaintances. After all, class 12 results assume equal significance as the general election results in Tamilnadu.

The parents and teachers tell the students from the time they were in their nappies that all their life would be decided by some exam in 12th. "Good marks - Good college - High pay - settled life - bla bla bla", all these, all the students would hear at least once about the 12th exams. " Oh! 12th a? My son's would-be's uncle's brother's daughter was the state topper last year. She is super brilliant . You know? ", we hear such statements coming out in some random conversations with strangers during travel when we tell that we are in class 12.

There are many institutions whose only motto is to produce atleast a couple of state ranks every year, no matter what, even if that meant that they have to suck all the energy and happiness out of the students. After all, students are brain-washed with the following statement " Study hard till 12th. Sacrifice all your enjoyments till the exams. Get good marks. You can enjoy for the rest of your life ".  Absurd.

The only time where the students enjoy is the time after the exams and before the results. The Class 12 results, some 20 years back were published only in newspapers. On the result day, parents used to wake up even before Mr.Sun takes a peek and rush to the nearby paperwallah's shop to see what their son/daughter got in the exams. Now with the smart phones, getting the result details instantly is just like a walk in the park. Whatever may be the mode of getting the result details, the after effects of it have barely changed. The victorious, celebrate it with more calories in the form of sweets and feasts. Their parents see this as the time to show their pattu mama and Rosy aunty of how brilliant their children are and how they burnt the midnight oil to attain this glory.  Whereas, the candidates who couldn't get the expected results go through trauma and stress and start thinking as if it were the end of their world.

Though these results would be used everywhere from college admissions to interviews, I still feel the hype surrounding this is a tad higher than required. Why don't people play down the significance of this results? After all we can see it as just another year of completed education, use the results to plan the future and not just to blame/bask on the glory of the past.

Habits

It is a belief that habits never die. Whether it is a fact or not, some people use to take shelter under this belief to justify what they are doing in the guise of habit.  What is habit? Is it an inborn phenomenon or a congenital one? One's genesis may have influence over his/her character, behaviour and outlook, but not habits. Habits are cultivated by the person himself/herself, may be from the childhood. It is the responsibility of the parents to see that their children always possess some good habits. If in the negative, they should take steps to nip that trend in the bud itself so that it will not tarnish the childrens' as well as their own images.

When detected, having practiced bad habits, the first question asked by others will be " whose child is this?" Hence the first culprit will be the parents. They should always keep their eyes on their children to see that they do not tend to cultivate bad habits, may be from their playmates, classmates, or neighbours. Whenever they get any doubt about that, they should take every endavour to correct their child or children.

Habits play a vital role in building one's career and status in the society. Habits once cultivated will always linger round you. Hence the excuse of somebody,  practicing bad habits, that they are slave to their habits, resulting  in the making of  habitual drunkards, habitual trouble shooters and so on. Can't these bad habits be eroded from oneself? Surely, if you have the inclination to cast them away. A habitual drunkard can be repatriated gradually and so with other persons with other such habits. They can be counselled properly to shed their inhibitions over their habits and can be brought back to a state where they are loved and respected by all.

I would like to recall to my memory that precious lines written by a famous author " Habits should be like a walking stick used for the ease of walking and not as a pair of crutches to lean on".

Experience

It is widely known that "Experience is the best teacher :. True ! In our life, we may have to face lot of hurdles and hardships. We tend to curse our own fate during these periods. But to overcome all these, we should have some guts. Like that, we may have to come across some worst experiences atleast once or twice in our life time. To fend them all, we should cultivate a habit of facing them without much fuss, which can be achieved only  through our experiences. We can learn a lot from other's experiences also. Watching closely how others behave during turmoils and analysing the process to sort out what is good for that occasion will lead us to take a good decision about how to tackle the situation in a matured way.

 Generally, we use to take the opinion of the elders at home and nearby when we are faced with some tactical problems in the fervent hope that they might have encountered such ones in their lives and could have taken a correct decision to wriggle out of the same. It is always good to take the advice of the elders on matters relating to our day to day life. Even though every advice cannot be blindly followed, we should have our own assessment of the situation and the nett result of our counter should not negatively affect our future.

In my thirty six years of service in Railways, I had had many occasions when I was called up in the dead part of the night to assist my co-workers when they had to encounter problems in dealing trains, problems with travelling public and during accidents. Never did I show my back when I was thus disturbed, instead I thought it a recognition of my experience in my service in Railways. All is said about experience, but how it affects a beginner is a subject to be discussed. A fresher from a college or school, seeking a job in a private establishment, has to face the question " Your experience?". Knowing fully well that he or she is a fresh product from an institution, the above question is out of place. But the firms always look for experienced hands so as to improve their business. [ Now a days more IT  and other firms select freshers from schools and colleges under the Campus selection process which is a welcome trend].                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Opportunities should be given to candidates with good academic background, with good flavour and mindset for hard work. In our present society  we want men with knowledge and constructive ideas who are ready to work sincerely to promote our culture and heritage, our dignity and the least our country's economy.Here there is no choice between a fresher or an experienced hand. After all, can we ask a man or a woman, while proposing for marriage, whether they have got any experience in that field. Quite absurd.

Pudiyankam VELA

           Pudiyankam, an exquisite village of Palakkad District, has attained a name for itself due to it's annual rituals and celebrations in the famous temples of Sri Puthukkulangara Bagavathi and Sri Vettakkaruman. These centuries year old temples in the village, though renovated time and again, are said to be the main source of good fortune and well being of the villagers. Anybody, who worships at these temples sincerely, will succeed in his life and lead a happy and prosperous life.                                                                                                                                                                        

           The main annual festival at these temples is the Vela celebrations. Even though the celebrations pertain to Puthukkulagara Bagavathy, some of the main rituals are being conducted at the Vettakkaruman temple, hence making the Lord also to be a part of the celebrations. The Vela is being conducted every year on the day of Hastham Star of the Malayalam Month Meenam, said to be the Devi's Janma Nakshatram. The Devi Temple was once the property of the Kavalappara Nair, which has been taken over by the villagers of Pudiyankam and Kattusseri and is now managed by a committee comprising members from both Desams. Both Desams celebrate the festival on the same day.                                                                                                                                                      

           At Pudiyankam, the activities start right from early morning with Mahaganapathy Homam at Sri. Vettakkaruman Temple followed by Kalasa Pooja and Abhishekams for the deity. The Eadu Vedi at Aalthara Mannu [ vedi vazhipadu with 101 vedies] marks the commencement of the celebrations. Before the beginning, a formality called the Koottazhi ezhuthu will be performed at the same venue on the day of Hastham Star in the month of Kumbham. It is now that the villagers meet here to discuss formally about the arrangements to be made for the Festival celebrations.
        
          Two days celebrations of Kanniyar, starting on the Thiruvathira Star Day immediately preceding the festival, when the Devi is taken in a procession from the temple near Alathur to Pudiyankam during night and will be received at the Village boundary by the elders of the village and special Poojas will be performed under a Kodimaram [ A bamboo Flag Mast ] and the presence of the Devi will be there all through the night and will be escorted back to the Temple in the morning.                                                                                  
           On the day of celebrations, after the Eadu Vedi, the Devi from the Srimoolasthanam at Komathumannu is ceremoniously accompanied to Sri Vettakkaruman temple where  the grand procession is scheduled to begin. The Kelikottu, the Kombu and Kuzhalpattu and the grand Panchavadhyam performance by renowned artists are the main events in the celebrations and the Devi's procession round the village with seven caparisoned elephants with the Panchavadhyam accompanying adds beauty to the celebrations.                                                          

            The Kudamattam [ changing of umbrellas atop the elephants ] and the Chenda Melam [Pandi Melam ] and the Fire Works after the procession are treats to watch and enjoy. The important one to point out is the presence of a Chappalana [An elephant made with wood, bamboo, dry plantain leaves and hay, covered with black cloth which cxactly looks like a real elephant ]. It is said that, long long back, when there broke out a commotion in the area and temples were looted and destroyed, a section of the villagers from the area tried to save the deity from the looters. They packed the deity inside an elephant made out of wood, bamboo, hay and dried plantain leaves, which were the only materials available at that time, pulled the elephant away and brought it to the village Pudiyankam where it was safe and restored the deity back after all the commotions were over. The place, where the deity was kept all through this period, came to be known as the Srimoolasthanam, from where the procession of the Chappalana begins.  
 

           The celebrations, with physical and monetary help from the villagers, has become a grand one now a days with leading tuskers in Kerala as well as veterans in the art of Panchavadhyam and Chenda Melam parading themselves to prove their mettle. The Fire Works has turned out to be the cynosure of all eyes. To add to that, the co-operation being extended by all villagers irrespective of caste, creed and religion, has helped much in making the celebrations a grandeur one. As a custom, people belonging to each and every caste have their own specific part to play in this festival celebrations, which all of them are doing well without any huff and puff to see that the Vela Festival at Pudiyankam is  celebrated in a manner envied by other neighbouring villages.

Long Weekend!!

Festivals, be it religious or regional, we, the people of India are always known to celebrate them in the grandest possible manner. People would go to the extent of planning their lives based on these festivals, like onathinuu grinder, pongalukku moped and new dress for the entire family for Ugadhi. Children would normally start celebrating these festivals, days before the actual festival day and thus spreading happiness and excitement among their family and friends.

In the recent years, we could see a different trend. The only thing which doesn't change is that we still start celebrating festivals 120 days in advance, thanks to the hue and cry in getting train tickets. Most of us don't get tickets and hence the festival day, when we used to play with our cousins and involve ourselves in heroic sports in villages is now a day to fight/curse our luck in getting a tatkal ticket for our return journey.Many people in Tamil Nadu sacrificed(thats how they call it) a greater part of Pongal celebrations last year on Jan 14th as they were slogging to get tickets booked on the opening day for Holi holidays in March. People now have to plan their travel for the harvest festival well before the seeds are sown in the field.

People have started forgetting why a particular festival is celebrated , in the above case, Holi. We only look at whether it is a Holiday and not if it is 'Holi' day. Our next focus after getting the required travel tickets is in knowing what movies are releasing for that festival both in cinemas and TV. Even if we are hearing the same voice crying out 'For the first time in Television or Prabanja tholai kaatchigalil mudhalmurayaga(India and world are already copyrighted with the voice :( ), we get excited. We get glued to the idiot box watching interviews of Tom,Dick and Harry on the festival days . I still remember one Diwali where there were no crackers in the evening as one of the channels was telecasting superstar movie. The crackers went off only during the half an hour news break in between.

We also see seasonal festivals being plucked from one part of the year and placed in some other parts for various reasons. We witness the same festival called by different names in different channels with some festivals still waiting to be accredited by few channels. But that doesn't matter as long as the channel telecasts how our favorite actress celebrates the festival.

In the midst of all these, festivals indeed matter for few private bus operarors and the alcohol industries. Both these sections get their maximum profit during festival times especially the alcohol sales scaling new peaks every festival. Looks like there will come a day, if not come already where we would have to stream a video in youtube to know what was Onam/Deepavali and how it was celebrated.After all, we the people who celebrate the festivals are seeing the festival holidays and weekends as ' looonng weekends ' and not a Pongal weekend or Holi weekend.