Modern Naradas

             I have read in some magazines that Devarishi Narada, a Chiranjeevi, was cursed once by Lord Brahma that he could not spent more than one a half hour continuously at a place as he had disrupted Brahma's creative process once.

            A few days before, I had a chance to meet the Devarishi at a Kalyana Mandapam in Mylapore. He was there to attend a marriage. I introduced myself to him and he requested me not to disclose his identity to anybody else there.

            A doubt arose in my mind that why he has come over there. He could not be an invitee to the function. Maybe, he might have planned to create some chaos at the function within his allowed one and a half hour's stay there, as was his practice.I thought it was wise to wait and see the happenings.

            An hour lapsed without any hitch and Narada remained quiet chanting Narayana Mantras within himself. I took a deep breathe of relief that nothing untoward happened till then and only half an hour remained for Narada to quit the place, within which nothing could take place and I sincerely wished that nothing could happen marring the marriage ceremonies.

            Then, I started hearing some quarrels from the Bridegroom's room in the Mandapam. The groom's mother had picked up a quarrel with the Bride's father over the purity of the gold ornaments which the bride was adoring. She wanted to check whether the ornaments were of pure gold to which the Bride's father refused, as he is an honest man and didn't want to cheat anybody. Other relatives of the Bride and the groom joined the quarrel and utter chaos prevailed over there and the marriage function ended abruptly.

          From all the happenings there, I read out that the Devarishi has played his part well there also. I searched for him in the Mandapam and could not trace him. I could make out that one and a half hour has already lapsed since I met him and he might have left the scene as per the curse.

          The story goes like this. Narada approached the bridegroom's mother in the guise of a relative to the bride and advised her to check the purity of the gold ornaments the bride was wearing, since the bride's father has cheated his elder daughter's in-laws by giving them gold covered jewelry. The in-laws came to know about it only after a long time and since then his elder daughter was staying with him only. But the truth was that the elder daughter's in-laws used to harass her and had taken all the jewels from her. When she could not tolerate their deeds, she returned to her father.

       Whatever be the true story, Devarishi Narada of the modern age played his part well and disappeared, leaving others to fight each other.

     He has chosen the right person(Bridegroom's mother) and the right property (gold) to enact that drama. May his tribe decrease.

Time to tie the knot??

"Mahi!Get up! It is already 7 O'clock", shouted his mother. Mahi tried to get up from his bed. But his body was not responding to his commands. Even after some 7 hrs of sleep, he  felt tired. The last two days were pretty hectic for him.It was his sister's marriage the previous day. He somehow got up from his bed and went to have his cup of bed coffee. "Amma!Why did you wake me up this early? I'm still feeling tired". "Uncle and aunt would be leaving by the 8 O'clock express. They wanted to say bye to you" told his mom. Just then, his uncle and aunt came down with their luggage. "Hey Mahi! See you then! Come to our home sometime", said his uncle. "Anyways, Mahi's line is clear now. It is his turn next. Endha Mahi?? :P", his aunt added. "Whaaat? ", Mahi didn't know how to react. "My turn a?", he didn't know what to tell. "I don't have any such plans for the next 3 years, aunty!", he told. "Hmmm. Hmmm. All guys say the same. Lets see!",concluded his aunt. He glanced at his mom who gestured him to not tell anything.

The same scene and dialogue repeated with many other relatives while leaving Mahi's home in the next day and two.He was getting tired of all those. One of his cousins even went to the extent of proposing few muhurtham dates for Mahi's marriage in her holidays and ordered him to get married only then. "Enna paasam?" He was tired of answering the same query on his nuptials. He then decided to come up with just a plastic smile if someone had brought the topic about he getting married , tomorrow or day after tomorrow. Even then he had no respite. "See! How the talk of marriage is causing his face to glow " told one relative. "Ada Raama!"

After a couple of days, when he himself was leaving for his workplace, his neighbors asked the same query as to how soon they would be getting a chance to dine in his marriage party. Mahi, fed up of this, gave a detailed vision plan of his life, as to how he first wants to try out teaching, then establish himself as an entrepreneur in his favorite field and then possibly think about marriage which would take a minimum of 3-5 years. Hearing this, his neighbor friends were reacting strangely. It looked as if they were asking him "3-5 years??PK hai kya??" 

He was back at work the next day with a huge bag of marriage sweets, which he knew was never going to be enough for his folks. Few of his team members came and just surveyed the variety of sweets he had brought . Each took a handful and when they were about to leave his desk, there came a voice "Boss! So, when are you going to tie the knot? Route clear thane?" "Gosh! I will keep you posted if there are any updates", he responded in an irritated tone. "Fine Thanks Mahi! Pls feel free to reach out to us for any help ", told his colleague with a mischievous smile. Just then one of his lady colleagues intervened "Don't make fun of Mahi! He might be feeling low recently. Give him time to move on". Yes. He was bit sad after his sister left for her in-law's home after her marriage. "See! He is still thinking of that marriage. Leave it. She would have forgotten you by now", the lady continued. Mahi felt something wrong and asked" About whom are you talking?". "Who else? The same girl whom you had in mind while writing all those romantic short stories, the same girl who is getting married today. Your friend has told me everything". "Ayyo! Just understand that those stories were not based on anyone, which means there is/was no 'She' as you people think", he replied angrily.

Mahi didn't get such queries after that outburst . He fell ill after a few days. It all started with food poisoning . He requested his boss for a few days' leave to go home and recover. His boss consented and then asked, "Get married Mahi so that you can have harmless home made food everyday and avoid such health issues". "Et tu Brute!", Mahi thought.

He was travelling to his home town that night . The voice of his boss telling "Get Married, Mahi!" was reverberating inside his head. All those taunts by his relatives, neighbours and friends to get married for whatever reason ranging from good food to holidays were going through his mind. He started getting the doubt whether people are marrying just because they have no other work or they talk/write romantic or they have got a job or have no job or they are susceptible to fall in love or they have just failed in love or the most important one, for good food?.  Looks like Mahi doesn't know that people asking such questions and confused are more prone to the query ,"Isn't it time for you to tie the knot yet?" God save Mahi!!

The Woodcutter's Axe

The woodcutter, hero of the story- The woodcutter and the Axe, was travelling in a house boat with his wife along the backwaters of Alappuzha when he remembered how he got the golden and silver axes along with his iron axe from the Goddess of the lake.He, then, thought of an idea, called his wife to come out from inside the boat and pushed her into the lake.

He,then,prayed the Goddess of the lake to give back his wife as she is the only wife he possessed. The Goddess appeared before him, heard his plea and came back accompanied by Urvasi, the famous dancer of the Indra Sabha. The woodcutter refused to accept her as she was not his wife. The Goddess reappeared for a second time with Menaka, one another dancer from Indra Sabha, who was also rejected by the woodcutter. At last the Goddess brought the woodcutter's wife herself and the woodcutter agreed in the affirmative and accepted her.

The Goddess gave him back his wife and was about to disappear when the woodcutter shouted to her. "Cheat, Cheat, you have cheated me". The Goddess asked "Me?Why so?"

"When I lost my axe, in the lake,  you first gave me a golden axe, then one silver axe and lastly my own iron axe. I rejected both the golden and silver axes and accepted my iron axe" told the woodcutter.

Goddess: "Yes, you being an honest man, you did like that".

Woodcutter: "Then you gave me all the axes praising my honesty. I have rejected both Urvasi and Menaka and accepted only my true wife".

Goddess: "So what?"

Woodcutter: "Appreciating my honesty, you should have given me Urvasi and Menaka along with my wife. But you have cheated me and given me only my wife"

Goddess: "No man! This is not like your axe. One man should possess only one woman as his wife and you got your wife back. You could have accepted either Urvasi or Menaka when I offered them to you. But you didn't do that."

Woodcutter: "Excuse me for my fault, Goddess! Will you give me one more chance to choose from Urvasi or Menaka so that I can once more push my wife into the lake?"

Boon or Bane

The other day the women's club of that locality conducted a grand meeting with Smt.Parvathy Devi (Lord Shiva's wife) as the chair person and resolved to pray Lord Shiva to grant them a boon to get themselves relieved from bearing the writhing pain at the time of delivery (Labour pain). All those spoke on the occasion vehemently came upon their male counterparts as they were free from any wear and tear during or after their best half's pregnancy.

Smt.Parvathy Devi , with tears rolling down her cheeks,narrated her woes and how she suffered while she was carrying her two sons-one with an elephant head and the other having six faces. Her voice choked with emotions.

Thus passed a resolution that henceforth ladies would bear the pregnancy for ten months and the pain and hardships during delivery has to be borne by the child's father and thus equality can be maintained.

Lord Shiva, seeing the resolution, wanted his partner and co. to think severely about it before pleading for a boon from him.But the over enthusiastic ladies stood firm in their decision. The boon was granted by the Lord.

The first delivery case victim, after the boon was granted, was a lady expecting her fourth issue. The date and time neared and Smt.Parvathy Devi, herself wanted to witness the events for herself, was also present and all eyes focused on the lady's poor husband who was there, worried and restless.

The nurse announced that the delivery would take place within 5 to 10 mins and there were no signs of the lady's husband having any uneasiness or pain. Everybody thought that Lord Shiva, being a male, must have cheated them. They were about to march to the Lord when they heard the cries of a man from the neighbourhood. A young man, staying in the neighbourhood, was writhing in acute pain and rolling on the floor when the ladies group arrived there. Parvathy Devi smelt something foul and immediately rushed to Lord Shiva.

"I wanted you to think twice before granting the boon. You wanted the child's father to bear the labour pain- but not the lady's husband. Now the boon cannot be changed. But I can withdraw it if you pray" quipped the Lord.

The ladies group fell at the feet of the Lord and prayed for the boon to be taken back and thus did the Lord.

Bonus Punch:

 Son asked Dad: Dad! Before sleep, to ward off evil spirits and bad dreams, we pray "Arjunan,Phalgunan etc etc". Whom will Arjun pray if he wants to ward off evil spirits?

Dad : ???

The Kick off

"Hey Prasoon! What the hell are you scribbling in your blog posts? I will tell your Dad about this!". This is one of the sample responses which I have been getting for the very few posts I had written in my first blog. A big Thanks to all you people in helping me with the thought "Why should someone else complain about my writings to my Dad? :P". The result of this is this blog with my Dad as a co-author along with my big brother. This family venture(yes, that is what it is) aims at publishing the ideas and short stories brewing in our minds in our way, the Gokulan's way.

My own country!!

"What a looonnng journey??" I sighed on hearing the famed newspaper ad nearby. The barely audible ad confirmed that the 9 hrs train journey to my new hometown in the God's own country had at last come to an end. After flexing my limbs which had gone numb in the travel, I moved to the compartment's door with a laptop backpack and a huge travel bag with clothes for washing. I was looking outside, towards the dark horizon, scanning my new home town after having been a native of a nearby state since my birth. It was not the first time I was travelling to this part of the country. Being a native of the God's own land and with all my relatives staying , I used to travel once or twice a year to spend my vacations here. But this particular journey was different.

The train approached the platform at a decelerating speed. I glanced at the huge digital clock in the platform and it read 19:18 hrs in red. "Hmmm!Before time aanalle?(Before time isn't it??)" came a query from a man standing behind me. I smiled and nodded. The very sight of watching people of my land in the platform evoked a sense of joy in me. The train had almost stopped but not entirely stopped. I safely checked my belongings and when I looked up, a group of 10-15 were rushing towards me. "How the hell did they know that I am coming tonight? Wasn't this a surprise visit? Sho! Ivarude oru sneham!!So sweet!", I thought to myself and grinned. But that grin didn't last long. "Ninnu pooram kaanadhe erangada cherukka!!(Stop looking around and get the hell down moron!)" yelled a dhoti clad middle aged man. I got down from the running or in fact limping train much against my safety ideals. I looked back at the dhotiwallah , he was already seated inside the train . I was still fuming . "How arrogant and disrespectful he had addressed me!What a welcome,Sirji!!". I didn't want to spoil my mood thinking of that. In fact I was in a celebration mood and I had traveled all the day to reach my home the night before my mom's birthday. It was a surprise visit!

After few huffs and puffs, I exited the station and took an auto to my home. I informed the driver to stop by any bakery shop to get a birthday cake for my mother. "O! O! Sheri", he responded. "Did he sound irritated? Yey!No!". Probably the bitter welcome was making me think like that. " Those words (at the railway station) were still resonating in my mind!". "Bully!", that was how I remembered the foul mouthed dhoti-walah at the station. As we rode away from the station, the roads were seen wearing a deserted look with no shops open. I glanced at the Titan on my left wrist and it showed 19:45. I was wondering what could have been the reason for the blackout. Such a situation in my previous home town would have meant only two things. Either there could be a superstar movie in any of the channels or some political big shot placed behind the bars.When I was about to check with the driver on this, I saw it.

I saw the glimmer of hope in a set of serial lights gleefully decorating a board "Vendhan Bakers". Someone from the neighboring state, I confirmed. I asked the auto driver to wait for 5 mins and quickly crossed the road towards the shop. I ordered for a sumptuous BlackForest cake and while it was being packed, I saw a group of people rushing towards the shop. They intimidated the sales man to close the shop immediately. They told that their leader was hacked to death a while back and they were calling for a hartal. I instinctively ran back towards the auto to continue my ride before any violence could erupt. I was feeling sorry for the leader and also for the cake. "Cake Poche!"

The driver broke my silence enquiring what had happened. I told him the sorrowful story :(. He suddenly took a deviation from the road to my home and brought the three wheeler to a halt and asked me to get down.Puzzled, I got down . He told that it would be risky to drive his new auto in that situation which meant I had to walk the remaining 500 and odd metres to my home. Annoyed,but with no other go, I asked "Ethra aayi?"(How much to pay?). "80 rupees!", came the answer . Dad had told 50 rupees maximum, but the guy was asking 80. When I told him the same, he replied, "50 Rs during day and 30 Rs night charges!!". "Whaat?? Night charges by 7:45 pm itself? " I was startled. I paid the money and started walking in the moonlight.

The bag was too heavy for me to carry and walk. Unable to bear its weight, I quickly looked around to see if anyone was around and quickly placed the bag on top of my head and started walking home. "Ailasa! Ailasa! Hey ! Hey! Ailasa!", I was joyfully telling and walking with the load. I lost my balance suddenly and the bag fell on the road with a big thud. Immediately from the street corner, 3-4 people in uniform came running shouting "Don't you know that it is our union's birth right to carry load?" I was completely perplexed. I told them that it was my travel bag with clothes and nothing else.But they were very adamant on the point "You can carry the load , but we need our gawking wages per our union laws!!"(Gawking wages is the wage paid just for looking on) "What the Hell??" I wanted to yawp. When it was turning into a heated argument, the clouds opened up to a heavy drizzle. They ran away from me in search of cover from the rain. "Thank you Varuna deva!" I said looking at the skies and continued my walk in the rain.

After some 15 mins of walk, I reached my home and gave a surprise to my parents. After the excitement had settled down, I told what and all happened on my way home. We immediately turned on the TV to see any report of the leader, whom I was told in the bakery shop, was attacked . The news channels confirmed that there was an attack by 8:30 pm . "How the hell did the people start protesting by 7:45 itself then? Advanced protesting pola!!", I thought.

After a sumptuous meal and a good nap in the next afternoon, my parents told me to go to a famous temple some 3-4 kms away. They told that it was the monthly auto strike day and hence I could walk or take a bus. I decided to walk. The clear skies with the clouds wearing a golden border courtesy of the setting sun , the never ending chirping of the birds along with a gentle breeze made my walk pleasant. The roads were lined with huge cutouts of international football stars and national flags of various footballing nations ."Football fanaticism!", I told myself. There were children running behind people for donations for various temple festivals. A couple of boys came in front of me and asked me donation to treat Nemar's(A famous footballer) rib injury from the last match. Did I hear that right? Yes, they repeated it again. My eye balls were about to pop out at that donation request. "Cheriya vaayil veliya nona!(Big lies flowing from small mouths)", I thought and somehow got away from that group.

In no mood to part of the Nemar welfare fund collection scam, I took a bus while returning from the temple. I gave the exact change to the conductor, but he didn't give me a ticket. When I asked him for one, he looked as I asked for his entire collection amount. He then told an old man standing near me, "Chetta!Ivide oru ticket kodu(Bro!Give a ticket here)". I extended my hand towards the man and he placed the ticket in my hand. But the ticket size seemed to be big, it was not a bus ticket, but a lottery ticket. "Your face tells me that you could be lucky to win the 10 crores bumper in tomorrow's lot. ", he told. "I asked for the bus ticket not a lottery ticket", I shouted. "No tickets in private buses here. We have only lottery tickets of Nepal! Bhutan!Burma ! Which one you need?". I was flabbergasted.

This was not what I had expected from this land and its subjects. People from other parts of the country look at the natives of this state with awe and envy. But all the egoistic disrespectful people whom I had met, the various tactics to get easy money from people in the name of donations, night tariffs, gawking charges, the goondas at the bakery shop, the hartals every alternate day and the people believing mainly in luck(lottery) but not daring to ask for ticket in a bus make me think that how true is the proverb"Ikkaraiku akkara pacha!(The grass is always greener on the other side)".

The Treatment

Ringesh felt his head spinning. He was never ready for this shock. He felt that the entire world had come to a stop. The only movement he could see, was of his friend, who was handing over a piece of paper to him. It was no ordinary paper from a tree, it was the message from the Devil himself. Gathering a deep breath and hoping that what his friend had told him, was just a prank, he took the paper with the message and glanced at the contents in it. It was indeed true. It had happened.

What would he tell his mom , dad and his siblings? How would they react to this? Won't he be seen as an outcast by his girl friend? All these thoughts were driving him mad and in the process triggered a drop of tear to trickle down from the corner of his eyes. Just then, he felt someone patting on his shoulder and trying to cheer him up. He looked up and it was one of his friends telling "We tried our best Ringesh! But.." and he handed over another bit of paper to him. Ringesh recoiled and muttered to himself "Only 2 % discount!!Bloody hell! After all the hotel has done business for an entire week. "

He again checked the paper in his hand, carrying the statement of charges. The 5 figure total marked at the bottom of the statement aka bill, danced before him. The three zeroes at the end suddenly turned into the three famous nephews of Uncle Scrooge from 'The Ducktales'. Were he becoming a dyslexic like Darsheel Safary from Tare Zameen par? Or had his mind gone empty just like how his bank account balance would be, after paying the bill. The three cutely colored ducks suddenly turned into the dementors (from the Harry Potter books )and sucked all the happiness in him. He felt crestfallen. With an agitating mind, he paid the bill and checked the account balance. The money in his account won't be enough for the remaining days of the month. He ignored the plastic smile from the hotel security and exited the hotel. His friends were smiling from ear to ear and telling, "Thanks for the anniversary treat, Ringesh! It was simply superb. See ya in office tomorrow". "How could these people smile at all? Won't their stomachs ache? Or were they having a black hole in place of stomach?", he was talking all this to himself while looking at the dispersing crowd.

He started to walk along the pavement. He was returning to his home. How did it come to this. He tried to think hard on what caused this. He was just recollecting the seconds before the disaster. Yes, getting bankrupt is indeed a disaster. It had all started with the scene of his friend Nijay, wearing a dejected look at office in the morning. Ringesh had learnt that his friend had popped the question to a lady in the next project and she had rejected him. There were people trying to console Nijay. Ringesh, unable to control his mixed emotions informed Nijay and the group as "Even I asked the same girl, the same question the same day, last month. Didn't I simply move on? Cheer up man!" Ringesh could just remember completing this sentence which led to puzzled looks around him. After that somebody shouted like Ringesh-Failure-month anniversary-salary day -treat". The last word "TREAT" reverberated more. It was a chorus. He was baffled at this idea of giving a treat for the specified event.

Ringesh had to yield to his colleagues and they went to a nearby restaurant. He had thought that Nijay could atleast forget his misery in that get-together. Then started the action. From paneer to pork, he saw everything being served at his table. Ringesh was now at his bus stop remembering all these and also how his heart had skipped many a beats when the bill came . He looked at the Heavens and thought 'God! Please take an avatar and Slay this demon habit called "Treat" before it consumes every other innocent individual like me'. His biggest concern was how would he inform his girlfriend and parents that his entire salary was spent on treating his friends in remembrance of his former crush. 'Shoot!'. Just then he heard a screech near him.

It was a share auto and the driver asked 'Sir!Get in'. With emptiness all around him including his pockets, he nodded in negative to the autowalah and started walking with the famous Thalaivar dialogue "Naan nadakka pazhagikren(I will learn to walk)". His mobile vibrated then. It was a message in his group where the message read "Don't bring lunch, tomorrow! Nijay has agreed to give us a treat for his love failure. :) Get ready for the 'Treat'ment Spartans :D". Ringesh was feeling a different emotion in him after that. He didn't know whether it was sympathy on Nijay or happiness that someone else would incur a similar fate like him , but he knew one thing for sure. It was revenge time. Like the Panchali from Mahabharatha, he took an oath of revenge that till the mission of making Nijay to pay more than what he did that day, he would not stop ordering. He then looked up and told "God!Please delay your avatar at least till tomorrow evening. Let me check the capacity of the black hole in my belly :P". Ringesh started waling briskly to his home. He was getting ready for the 'Treat'ments in the forthcoming days. The conch had been blown and a new warrior was born.